Hello,

Greetings from sunny, hot and blue-sky Colorado where we had several inches of hail last week! The weather in Denver and the Front Range is definitely interesting! I trust you're enjoying an extraordinary summer – I've been fortunate to spend most weekends in the mountains with some good friends, great hikes and beautiful music.

Recently I shared with a few close friends and, after some reflection, thought I should include a larger audience: I've attended many personal and professional growth seminars -- some because "it's my business" and most because my continued growth and development are really important in creating the extraordinary life I'm committed to living. 

My experience in some of those seminars was great and informs my daily choices years later.  Some of my experiences were, frankly, so-so and the value, if any, was fleeting or difficult to apply in daily life.

For the past two years I've regretted that Balance Point has not offered any open enrollment personal growth experiences.  Also, I hadn't done anything personally impactful for some time so when the opportunity to attend my friend Bob Wright's Men's Basic Weekend presented itself, my partner Ron Tate and I jumped in.

It was an amazing, positive and powerful experience that Ron and I recommend without reservation.  The human developmental model taught -- and modeled by the staff -- is clear, coherent and a brilliant breakthrough in understanding how to be more fully alive every day. I learned to – and direct from their brochure –

Speak MORE positively

Act MORE decisively

Live MORE joyfully...

every day for the rest of your life

I believe Bob Wright's work delivers on those promises and, this month's newsletter is NOT a sales pitch for their seminar. If you do want more information, just hit “reply” and ask for their brochure – I'll gladly forward it. What I want to share is my own learning about the value of being more present to my feelings. It has been very valuable to me in these days following the seminar and I think you'll find value also.

Be extraordinary!

Robert White

A Balance Point monthly eZine dedicated to assisting people in living extraordinary lives and creating extraordinary organizations.

We encourage you to forward this message to friends or colleagues who want to be more effective in working with people. They can subscribe to future issues and receive our free 23 page report “ Simple Truths and Enduring Values – The Eight Elements of Personal and Organizational Effectiveness,” at http://www.extraordinarypeople.com/ezine/subscribe.htm.

We have a very simple privacy policy: We do not share any information about any subscriber with anyone outside Balance Point for any reason or at any time. Period.

In this issue:

• Feature: Our Feelings: Power and Possibility
• Extraordinary Wisdom Quotes of the Month
• Rave Recommendations from Balance Point
• Extraordinary Living Action Steps

My son-of-the-heart-and-spirit, Levi, is a source of great pride. His courage, caring and commitment consistently inspire me and all those privileged to know him. On August 4th he celebrated his 20 th birthday on a brief break from fighting forest fires in California – I “helped” the celebration with a badly (but enthusiastically) rendered version of “Happy Birthday” over his cell phone for which I deeply apologize.

Levi had a rough first few years of life and, while helping him to work things out in the mid eighties, we learned a tool to help Levi get back in touch with his feelings.

Whenever we asked him how he felt, his response was how he thought – not his feelings. The tool we learned and practiced successfully was to ask him to respond with one of four words: mad, sad, glad or afraid.

While it was challenging at first, he soon figured out that we actually wanted to know how he felt – about school, about a friend, about something happening in our family or just generally – and that when he got in touch with those feelings, even the uncomfortable ones, his experience of life got better.

A fast-forward twenty years finds me remembering that simple healing tool and applying it to my own life. My recent experience of the Men's Basic Seminar conducted by the Wright Institute for Lifelong Learning was a vivid wake-up call about my tendency to depend too much on my “thinking” and ignore my “feelings.” If you'd like to learn more about their excellent work with men, women and couples, check out:

http://www.wrightlearning.com/

For now, and borrowing liberally from my book, “Living an Extraordinary Life,” here are some of my ideas about the power and possibility inherent in accessing our feelings:

The Context

This complex human organism we inhabit operates on many levels, perhaps even in many dimensions. One way to describe “us” is we are an integration of mind, body, spirit and emotion. True human development pays attention to well-being in all of these areas and, I assert, our energy, our ability to generate an ideal resource state, our choice of an extraordinary life is limited by any diminished capacity whether it be mental or physical or spiritual or emotional.

The “Feeling” Capacity

Successful people (by this I mean more than just ‘wealthy') use all the feedback in their environment—successes and failures, other people's reactions, their own thoughts and feelings—as a personal instrument panel that helps ensure a successful voyage and arrival at their chosen destinations. As Daniel Goleman rightly says, "The ability to monitor feelings moment-to-moment is crucial to insight and self-understanding... People with greater certainty about their feelings are better pilots of their lives.”

Yet few of us pay attention to the feedback in our lives, to see what's working for us and what is not, let alone to notice the emotions we are experiencing moment-to-moment. Dr. Nathaniel Brandon says in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem :

“In virtually all the great spiritual and philosophical traditions of the world, there appears some form of the idea that most human beings are sleepwalking through their own existence. Enlightenment is identified with waking up. Evolution and progress are identified with an expansion of consciousness.

The higher the level of consciousness at which we operate, the more we live by explicit choice and the more naturally does integrity flow as a consequence."

Bob Wright's work expands on my simple parenting tool of mad, sad, glad or afraid. He suggests that we constantly monitor ourselves and express to others our “basic level” feelings of JOY, LOVE, SADNESS, HURT, FEAR OR ANGER.

My direct experience of myself and with thousands of Balance Point seminar participants and coaching clients is that when we develop a habit of noticing our feelings and then expressing them honestly and directly, our lives – and the impact we have on others – become more satisfying and fulfilled.

Our Extraordinary Action steps will include my suggestions for enhancing your ability to be more present to your feelings, your emotions. Read on!

I've learned a lot from the late Gregory Bateson and recently learned of a great opportunity to be with great teachers in celebration of his life.

"Gregory Bateson Centennial: Multiple Versions of the World"

November 20, 2004

A conference celebrating Bateson's centennial and his continued influence; join leaders from all over the world in exploring the breadth of Bateson's vision, from family therapy to world-systems change, and so much in between.

Convened at the University of California at Berkeley...Lawrence Hall of Science

Presented by: Jerry Brown, former California Governor; Jay Ogilvy, Co-founder, Global Business Network; Kenny Ausubel, Bioneers; Wendel Ray, Mental Research Institute.

This is a dynamic, intensive one-day conference designed for specialists and for the general public.

Mary Catherine Bateson says: "This conference will be the long awaited opportunity to explore the significance of Gregory Bateson's life and work for the new century. The goal is to span the different fields in which Bateson's work is used and move toward a deeper and unified understanding of the ecology of mind."

Co-sponsored by Institute of Noetic Sciences; Assn for Humanistic Psychology; Assn for Transpersonal Psychology; Bioneers; Fdn for Global Community; Point Fdn; Saybrook Inst.; The Natural Step; Tides

$160.00 includes healthy lunch a full program of day-long discussions and presentations.

For additional information contact Gordon Feller 866-462-2838 or e mail him at GordonF20@comcast.net Details at:

http://batesonconference.org

A quick review on feelings:

1. Use vivid experiences of success or failure or “stuckness” to identify your feelings:
   
   JOY, LOVE, SADNESS, HURT, FEAR OR ANGER
   
   This is a “walk before you run” strategy to assist you in beginning to identify and articulate how you feel.
    
2. Own your feelings and resist the temptation to analyze, understand, justify or especially to make yourself wrong for having your feelings.
    
3. Express Yourself (# 4 of Balance Point's Eight Elements of Organizational and Personal Effectiveness for those of you paying attention!) Openly share what you're feeling – especially when you are reluctant to do so. You'll be amazed at the personal growth that generates and the deepening of relationships it creates.

And, e-mail me anything you learn about you and others in this process – your experiences inspire and motivate me.

Wishing you an Extraordinary Life and Extraordinary Organizations,

Robert

Robert White
Balance Point

P. O. Box 40405
Denver , CO 80204
Phone: 1-425-803-0303
E-mail: Robert@BalancePointInternational.com

http://www.BalancePointInternational.com

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