Hello,

Have you seen Mel Gibson's movie “The Passion of the Christ”? If so, and if you're able to interpret your experience, I'd enjoy hearing from you. It clearly is an experience – certainly for me – and thus very challenging to describe.

If you haven't seen it, one note of caution you may have already heard is – this is definitely not the “sanitized crucifixion of Christ” we're all used to. The violence is real and unrelenting so if you are squeamish, don't go and certainly don't bring children.

One interim conclusion for me: mankind is capable of inflicting truly horrible pain on others … then and now. We saw it 2000 years ago in Judea; in the horrors of the Nazi death camps; and the killing fields of Cambodia and Somalia .

Even less comfortable to confront is the less violent and still very real pain we inflict or tolerate in our friendships, families, organizations and communities. In this issue we'll explore some simple steps we can all take to treat each other and ourselves better and thus create better relationships.

I'll also share some favorite quotes and other great ideas … so read on and enjoy!

Be extraordinary!

Robert White

A Balance Point monthly eZine dedicated to assisting people in living extraordinary lives and creating extraordinary organizations.

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In this issue:

• Feature: Creating Extraordinary Relationships

• Extraordinary Wisdom Quotes of the Month

• Rave Recommendations from Balance Point

• Extraordinary Living Action Steps

This is a big topic and we have limited space, so I'm choosing to focus on just a few simple ideas that have some leverage – that is, when practiced, the personal and professional benefits can be extraordinary.

Let's begin with my personal and deeply held belief that everything we want to do or be in life gets done through

communication

which takes place in a context of

relationships

so developing mastery in understanding, creating, building and maintaining long term, bonded, effective relationships is a vital life skill...and is a reliable predictor of personal and professional success and satisfaction.

One approach to being more effective in all our relationships with others is to use A.R.C. – the acronym that sourced our corporate name:

A wareness

R esponsibility

C ommunication

Grow in Awareness – without getting complicated here, let's define this as simply an enhanced state of noticing. Noticing what's really happening for and with the other people in your life. I've learned from “noticing experts” Cathy Walker and Dianna Lynn that just beginning to pay more attention brings breakthroughs in learning and subsequent positive behavioral change.

An oft told story – by me – is that when I first attended the old Mind Dynamics seminar in 1969 (I later became President of the company), I was expressing my critical skills in ways that were driving the important people in my life away or at least causing them to withdraw the support I desperately needed.

The two years following that seminar were amazing. I first began to notice the impact my criticism had on the people I loved and the many staff I counted on for producing results in my company. Following the seminar philosophy, I worked to avoid self judgment and just work to slightly reduce being critical.

The results from that simple exercise – done as often as I noticed it – were profound. My relationships improved and my little business tripled in revenue in one year.

What's the habit you have which tends to generate relationship problems for you? Begin to notice and then act on that awareness by …

Taking Personal Responsibility.

Again – and you can consult my article on Balance Point's Eight Elements for detail – this is not about blame, shame, guilt or regret. This is simply choosing to own the reality that only you are the source of your relationship quality and only you can alter that experience.

(The downloadable revised and formatted 23 page report “Simple Truths and Enduring Values – Eight Elements of Personal and Organizational Effectiveness” in PDF format are now available here or just e mail me at Robert@BalancePointInternational.com mentioning “Eight Elements”)

One good practice in regard to all your relationships is to just stop using the word “you” in all its forms whether to others or in conversation with yourself. Pay attention only to the contribution you are or are not making to the relationship and your positive learning will bring you satisfaction you might never have imagined possible.

The simple formula here is that there is no such thing as an effective 50/50 relationship. They breed dependence and resentment. Both parties must commit to it being a 100/100 % commitment…and your personal responsibility is to model that 100% commitment first through...

Powerful Communication.

Again, there are valuable ideas within the Eight Elements report on being honest, expressing yourself and operating your life from a partnership or win-win perspective. It seems to be that great relationships are vivid, not bland. They have some “juice” in them and even include the participants taking some risks.

I'm a bit of a political and current events “junkie” and what I notice about that arena is communication often based in personal attacks and hidden agendas instead of powerfully and directly sharing competing points of view.

You don't need me to tell you how ineffective that is – or to tell you how ineffective you are when you practice similar patterns or gossip or share information that is a bit less than fully honest. Authentic and direct communication with positive intent is like making a deposit to the “Relationship Bank.” It will be there, earning interest, when you need to make a withdrawal, when the situation calls for some trust and action.

If you'd like to invest in yourself and better relationships, I highly recommend the Nightingale Conant home-study program I did with Dennis Becker. “Living an Extraordinary Life' is available in audio tape or CD versions by calling (425) 803-0303 and leaving your choice of formats, shipping and credit card information.

Our “Extraordinary Living Action Steps” are brief and powerful – just read on!

Our theme this month is “relationships” so here are a few of my favorite quotes on that subject.

I'm proud to have been selected as a Fellow of the World Business Academy and have found great value in every one of the events they have organized. It's a great pleasure to invite you to the most powerful, visionary business conference of 2004, The Global Mind Change Forum, in Santa Barbara March 12-14. The date is fast approaching so act now!

The purpose of the Forum is to engage participants in a deep dialogue about the role of business in the creation of a sustainable global future.

Speakers and workshop leaders include Deepak Chopra, George Zimmer, Jim Channon, Jean Houston and many more. The sessions will include ample opportunities to interact with the presenters and to meet some wonderful people.

A few seats remain and you can learn more and register at: http://globalmindchange.org/conference

Or call 888-293-7770 for details.

In either registration method, subscribers to “Powered by Possibility” will receive a $100 discount simply by entering the code “Balance Point100.”

Relationships!

1. Wake up to the current reality of your relationships – with your Self, your friends, family, colleagues and community. What's working? What's not working? What's next? Get aware!

1. Take personal responsibility for creating the kind of nourishing, powerful, effective relationships you want.

1. Begin to communicate openly, honestly, fully … realize that every communication takes you either closer or further away from the relationships that could change your experience of life and work … for the better.

Wishing you an Extraordinary Life and Extraordinary Organizations,

Robert

Robert White
Balance Point

P. O. Box 40405
Denver , CO 80204
Phone: 1-425-803-0303
E-mail: Robert@BalancePointInternational.com

http://www.BalancePointInternational.com

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